Mr. Obama's birthday present

LOS ANGELES, 4 August 2011 - Barack Obama was 50 years old. Happy Birthday Mr. President. For the sake of America, I will not sing for you. I am not Marilyn Monroe.

The best one can wish him a pleasant day with Michelle, Sasha and Malia. May his children gave him pleasure to come for many years.

The day will be quite a celebration of Mr. Obama, which made it indistinguishible as he celebrates every other day. Nevertheless, today he is empowered to be king for a day.

Tomorrow he will be taken off his tiara back.

Mr. Obama was a birthday gift to the President $ 3,580,000 or 89% of the Kobe Bryant apology given diamonds. 100 overweight cats that Mr. Obama claims to all donated (edited back,) $ 35,800 for the right to inspect his contempt and make sure it was so clean and comfortable as MSNBC insists. He has every right to this money. He "deserves" it. However, the true way Mr. Obama can show us his wonderful nature of what he does with the money.

Mr. Obama insists he is a Christian. That's believable. Many Americans are Christians. Since Christianity requires 10% of the tithe, Mr. Obama should immediately give $ 358 000 for charitable purposes.

SEIU and the Center for American Progress does not count as a charitable, despite representing charity cases. He could give the money to the people in Minot, North Dakota or Joplin, Missouri.

He should then set aside 2% of the money put to some other cause are to be treated. For now, that is $ 71 600 in a (dare not call it a lockbox) general fund will be taken.

The remaining 88% of the funds should be distributed among Mr. Obama and all the other presidential candidates. Republican candidates should take some, but so should the Libertarians, Greens and American independents.

And potential Democratic primary opponent should check out some.

Mr. Obama needs to "spread the wealth around." It is not fair that he has so much to itself and its competitors try to fire him less. Forced redistribution of wealth and equality demand that other candidates not so adept at fundraising to obtain its revenue. He may try to argue that he deserves, but he has an unfair advantage. Unfairness is not allowed. Everything in life must be equally and fairly.

He will even pay money to John McCain because they do not have the same amount of money in the race 2008th Mr. Obama should be allowed to keep some of the money, just not all of it. That would be selfish.

Mr. Obama could even give money to the Republican National Committee, so that they can use it on ads to criticize him. Finally, my parents are Republicans, and they had their money teachers unions, which give it then funneled into liberal causes. Mr. Obama returned the favor, would level the playing field.

As for the 100 portly kittys who should donate $ 35,800 each in the kitty presidents, their names and professions are made public. Already some of them should be forced to change their entire business models. The oil companies are being bullied into supporting green energy. Tobacco companies are forced to finance anti-tobacco ventures. McDonalds has been in implementation apples in their Happy Meals browbeated. The Obama Donors should do the same.

Each of them should be in the entertainment industry profits confiscated. You may earn money, but not obscene amount of money. They should be forced to "invest" their money in a family-friendly programs so conservative, that they be "Father Knows Best" look like as the "Jersey Shore". The Christian Coalition, the final say on which programs are family friendly. Music executives should be forced to finance elevator music while movie moguls needed to bankroll and produce pro-American movies, where American soldiers are heroes and righteous anti-war protesters are dirty cancer are poor. Yes, it is time for non-fiction documentaries making a comeback.

Liberals at this point is to wonder why the Republicans, conservatives, hedge-fund managers and executives in the oil sector are not held to the same standards. This is not required. These groups are not burdened with guilt, self-righteous to criticize mega richie daddy warbuckles others for pursuing wealth. You are an honest reflection in the mirror. Only on the left side bashing the rich is $ 35,800 while attending dinner free of ethical conflict.

These rich donor left actually believe that a donation is to a man obsessed with social justice is the same as actually something positive, like giving to charity. It is not nearly as noble as actually helping someone start a small business for themselves. True it is better than just taking these people the money and snort it to each other, the exposed bare (backs - blacked out), but it's still a fake gesture of people refuse to admit that it wealth, power and access to wealth and crave power as much as any conservative Republican business tycoon.

Mr. Obama has every right to nearly 100 times what I get for accepting my bar mitzvah. He should be the only birthday gift that every person old enough to get AARP will receive a card.

(No, not "that" at present. The rubber glove is 40 years old, and at 39 1 / 2 I am not sure. Obama makes it to me every 15th of April, but that has not prepared me.)

Mr. Obama was in his favorite place of worship on his 50th Birthday go and look in the mirror. If he is honest with the hero-worship the man with the winning smile returning, he will learn for the first time in its existence "introspection". He will want to admit that he is a raging capitalist pig, which have more of everything simply because he wants to and he can.

This is not a bad thing. It is one of the few normal qualities he has. Then, when he embraces his inner greed, he may have quit, criticizing others, the nerve to want a yacht or a golden Clock own. You can own 100 of them, one for each of its donors. He should be fine with that because that is what the economy and to stimulate him the best chance for re-election.

Oh, Mr. President and let us talk about 2% in the general fund from earlier (assuming you have not already written, he lived in this column).

$ 71,600 was for my student loans. Pay them for me. I've contributed nothing, nor do I have a sense of entitlement. I am against the redistribution of wealth, since I am a conservative, am not a leftist.

Not "invest" the money on me, because I believe that equality and fairness nonsense.

Do it because you believe in it.

At least you say you do. They would never lie to me. Today is your 50th Birthday, you are giving the most sincere, fair, I know.

5th August is no longer your birthday. If you have not paid all my student loan tomorrow, I'll be more aggressive.

I'll tell you, just quiet and cut taxes for people like me can have a chance despite.

Oh, and Sasha and Malia, take their A teacher in social studies and change it to B and have my C is changed from the 1980s, in B is so good. It's about fairness.

Brooklyn born, Long Iceland raised and now lives in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, lecturer, satirist and comedian. Read more of Eric in his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog.

Eric is the author of the book trilogy "Ideological bigotry," ideological power "and" ideological idiocy. "Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drugs, and free of liberalism. After years of liberals, he has finally seen the light and now dates only Jewish Republican women. His family is pleased about this. Republicans, Jewish women, you can Eric To contact above.